Tag Archives: eye surgery

Still Winter With a Glimmer of Spring

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Here it is February already and I don’t feel any closer to resolution on anything! Of course, weather plays a big part in how I feel and as it is still very much winter here, it doesn’t help much. This morning is frosty but it looks like it might be clear later, much as it was yesterday when I actually spent some time outside, clearing out some of the dead stuff, waiting for spring.

Some of the tulips are pushing their way out of the soil! They must be as anxious for spring as I am.

Some of the tulips are pushing their way out of the soil! They must be as anxious for spring as I am.

There are signs that spring is on its way – days getting longer, the irises are showing their heads, my pot of tulips is growing nicely so these are all signs that the world is turning as its supposed to.

My life is in a stall at the moment. With money so tight, and my eye still not really healed, I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to, which means staying at home here at the end of the world with my kitties for company. This weekend I will go to Port Angeles to check the tenants out of the house there. I have an ad running for new renters and have had a couple of bites but nothing definite as I can’t show the place until the current tenants are gone. I have seen inside and they did a good job of painting and cleaning the place up, but this summer the exterior will need to be painted – cha ching!

In October, I gave myself six months to get the modifications etc. completed and here it is – basically, six weeks from the end of March, my deadline. Doesn’t look like I’m going to make that deadline after all.

Betsy suggested I test the waters with an ad to rent this house out for the summer. It’s around this time people are looking for their summer getaways. I don’t know where the kitties and I would go but right now, I am just looking at options. If someone wants to rent the place for 4-5 months, that would handle my mortgage for the year; I could just lock this place up and leave for the nasty months.

I don’t know…

My eye is slowly getting better. Once I stopped using the antibiotic cream, which it turns out I was allergic to, and just use the Kangen acid water and a moisturizer, it is so much better and it is finally healing. It’s been a month now – I normally heal so fast! So this is very frustrating.

I’ve been updating ColbyCommunications and that has been entertaining, reading all my old articles. Country Life was a lot of fun and so many of the other sailing and boating articles were good too! I’m going to be doing an interesting story in March. Some of the pilots at Kenmore Air, the seaplane company that the magazine is for, do water testing in the Puget Sound and I am going to go out with them. And another I am doing is on the Dragon Boats in Seattle. Both will be fun and although I get paid about zilch, it will be good to get my hand back into the writing game again. I am also going to track down Sandy and Andrew Butt and do an article about their olive orchard up on Pender Island. I will fly up there on one of the seaplanes, spend the night at an inn there, do a an article about the Inn and then go to the orchard. That’s my plan, I just need to contact Sandy and Andrew! This won’t be until May or so as the planes don’t fly up there until then – shut down for the winter.

~ Become a Lake ~

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driftwoodFrom looking like an abuse victim to a minor swelling and small scab in 9 days is pretty miraculous. My eye still itches like crazy and is still a bit weepy, but overall it is pretty good. I get the stitches out on Tuesday and then I hope the worst will be way over!

Because I was such a scary sight, I didn’t go out at all.So now am going stir crazy and what has happened, with all this time on my hands, is that I realize that it is not the weather so much that gets me about this place, although it does play into the overall scheme of things. It is the location.

It’s beautiful, peaceful, comfortable, cute house, wonderful wildlife. But…

It is way too remote for a single person, meaning me. This is a perfect location for a summer home. For people to come for weekends and weeks in the summer or holidays. Or for a couple who need only each other. But year-round living for me is just not cutting it.

I read this little story, which really brought it home to me:

~ Become a Lake ~

An aging master grew tired of his apprentice’s complaints. One morning, he sent him to get some salt. When the apprentice returned, the master told him to mix a handful of salt in a glass of water and then drink it.
“How does it taste?” the master asked.
“Bitter,” said the apprentice.
The master chuckled and then asked the young man to take the same handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and once the apprentice swirled his handful of salt in the water, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”
As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the master asked, “How does it taste?”
“Fresh,” remarked the apprentice.
“Do you taste the salt?” asked the master.
“No,” said the young man. At this the master sat beside this serious young man, and explained softly,
“The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains exactly the same. However, the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”

I need to become a lake. My life is so small and confining. You might say I am living in a puddle!

My life used to be broad, encompassing the entire world. Now it feels so limited and there are factors influencing this – insufficient funds, etc. But I can’t let these get in the way of my sanity. I never meant to be back here this long. I have know for a long time that is isolation is not good for me.

So…

Three months ago, after I decided to go for a loan modification on the condo, I gave myself six months to do it. The time is running out but I really don’t have to be here to do that. It’s all done by phone or email. So that eliminates that excuse for not leaving.

So I am starting to focus on getting “gone” from here. Making a list of what I need to do to make it happen. The main thing, of course, is to find someone to rent this house. And another of course, is finding a way to fund living elsewhere. Oh, and let’s not forget a car. I can hardly drive out of state taking Bill’s car with me.

The elsewhere doesn’t necessarily mean another country, like I have been dreaming. It could be as simple as California. Much more expensive, but more opportunity than here. I don’t know whether my editor job will go with me as she seems to think that she needs to see me, which is totally unnecessary when there is Skype. But obviously, I won’t throw in the towel, unless she brings it up. The eBay biz can go with me; in fact will be easier as Ryan won’t have to ship the DVDs to me.

Tomorrow, Susan and I are going to Port Angeles to look at the house, and then I am going to hand it over to property management. So that won’t be an issue for me. Chris seems to want to stay in the condo, so that will be taken care of.

A car could be a problem – or not. I had to have a new exhaust pipe put on the Leaky Beasty and it is a lot quieter now! Not just less exhaust noise, but less rattles too. I’m not sure about this, but maybe Bill would sell it to me but I would need to have the oil leaks fixed and know that that is all they are – leaks, and not something major. And I could probably work out some sort of payment plan with him. That is just a thought, at the moment. I would need to know it would make the trip to California and beyond.

So lots to think about, decisions to make and things to plan and plot.

A New Era

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panoWe are already almost through the first week of this new Golden Era. At least that is what the thinking is as the Maya calendar rolled over into the next baktun. There is a lot of belief around a new beginning, a new start, a new era of peace and prosperity which I fervently hope is true!

My new year is all about moving forward and not counting on anyone but myself. I think I have put way to much emphasis on outside sources providing for me – jobs, relationships etc. I just have to do it myself and if any of these other projects that have been hanging around come to fruition, well, that will be wonderful.

Stuff to be disseminated on the bed in the spare room

Stuff to be disseminated on the bed in the spare room

So I decided that, seeing as it looks like I will be here for a while, at least through the winter, then I would get out my “stuff” that has been in boxes up in the attic. But as I am pretty cautious about climbing ladders on my own, Susan came down and I handed stuff down to her and had her spot me on the ladder.

Mostly, I have pictures and slides. Masses of them and getting them all – or at least the most important ones – scanned has been a long time goal of mine. It’s tedious but oh so worth while. Also in the boxes are memorabilia from travels, like the jippy jappy baskets and drum from Belize; my beautiful African baskets and carvings. And then of course, there are the things the boys made as kids and poetry they wrote and their report cards! Oh, and MY report cards from elementary school. “Susan doesn’t apply herself” was the theme throughout my school years! Damn, I was sooo bored!

And then there are all the framed pictures. Since I landed back here, I didn’t really think I would be here this long so I haven’t hung anything on the walls. But now, I figure, what is going to take to repack this stuff and take the pictures off the walls? Not much and having them visible will feel more like home. So I have some of them hung including my lioness closeup and have put some out on shelves but I have become so used to the minimalist feel and being able to go around and clean quickly. So don’t want to clutter things up.

Despite the resolution to not count on anyone else, I still remain hopeful about ecology. Maybe now that the “fiscal cliff” is behind us, the investors’ purse strings will loosen up a bit. Harbors Magazine published and it looks goo and I am working on the next issue. I’ve also taken over Ryan’s side job. He said he was just too busy to do it any more so he handed it off to me. It’s an eBay deal where we auction newly released DVDs. Then they get shipped. He’s been doing it with a friend for a couple of years so he has a system that I use. It’s fairly simple but the added income will definitely help me out a lot!

This Friday, I pay the price for sun time in my youth! I have a basal cell carcinoma on my lower eyelid so have to have minor surgery to have it removed. It is really starting to bug me. The doctor who is doing this is an opthamologist/plastic surgeon so he knows what he is doing. Susan will take me as I will have a patch for a couple of days, so no driving! I will be so glad when it is gone. It’s got to the point where I think everyone is staring at me – “See the old lady with a wart on her eye?” Probably no one notices except me!