This morning was cool and gray but I took myself out for a walk along the beach as the clouds burned off.

Bogart's Coffee House

During my walks the last few days, I’ve been eyeing a cute cafe on Ocean Blvd and decided this morning to treat myself to coffee and a bagel at Bogarts Coffee House. I especially like that they serve organic coffee and my latte was delicious, as was my bagel and cream cheese.

My camera is impressive – the image here is completely untouched. A straight from-the-camera shot. The controls are simple and easy to operate. So am thrilled and will be using it a lot!

Tomorrow, Les is throwing a belated Mothers’ Day Brunch as he had to work last weekend and also wasn’t feeling so hot. So tomorrow, I’ll head up to Encino and leave some of my stuff in the garage that I won’t need in Washington – like summer clothes! Which leaves not a lot of stuff to take north. Oh well, as long as my feet are warm, I’ll survive!

Yesterday, I got the camera I have been wanting! The Panasonic Lumix FZ150 and it is soooo cool! It’s light and seems to do just about everything I want it to do, including video! Tested it this morning and I think I will get the hang of it really fast.

At the beginning of the week, I shipped off my Canon 30D to B&H Photo as a trade in. As much as I loved that camera, it was just too big and heavy for me. And so “in your face” and as I am not doing any pro work any more, this little camera is going to be just fine.

One of the first pix I took with my new camera

Ryan is well on the mend and goes back to work next week. Although he would have liked to have gone back earlier, the sciatica he has been suffering from has actually been (I think) a blessing in disguise as he has had time to rest, see all the doctors and recuperate. The position he is going back into hopefully won’t be as stressful and he isn’t required to travel, something he is not supposed to do for another month or so.

Wednesday, I go to Port Townsend. Betsy will be back here on Friday. It will be interesting going up there to the cold weather again although it is almost the summer solstice but it is typically Washington weather at the moment. At least I know I won’t be staying there forever! I will be a visitor who can oooh and aaah about how beautiful it is —– and then leave!

Well, I certainly have had a lot of time to think about things, now that Ryan is getting over the surgery and I am getting over the stress of it all!

Seal Beach is a very cool area. Still laid back, lots of older houses that haven’t been torn down and replaced with MacMansions! The house is just two blocks to the beach and I have been walking along the sidewalk or along the beach at least once a day. The negative ions are doing me the world of good. It’s definitely a location worth looking at as a home base. Just about everything is within walking distance – grocery stores, banks, library, post office and Main Street has an eclectic collection of sidewalk cafes, stores, bars and full restaurants. It’s not the glitz of Newport Beach, still has the old beach town flavor which suits me fine.

When I spent the time with Cody and Mel in Apple Valley, I considered moving there, even went so far as to look at Spring Valley Lake, a nice area quite close to them. But the more I think about that, the more I know it wouldn’t fit me and what I want my life to look like. I just don’t think I am a suburban grandma!

For most of my life, I have done what other people wanted me to do – except my initial running away from South Africa when I was 18. But that was because I didn’t know how to handle the situation I was in, as I pretty much had no role models to learn from. That role model deficit followed me for a long time! So I have either run from situations or done what I thought was the right thing to do, which was pretty much always what other people thought I should be doing and not what my heart, intuition, gut was telling me.

But now it’s time to do what I know is right for me, regardless of what I am hearing from other sources about what I “should” do.

I love being close to the family here. That’s why Seal Beach is good – almost equidistant from the boys. One-two hours to get to either of them, or them to me. Close but not in their pockets! Whether I can afford to find a place here is another matter, but I have simplified my life so much that all I need is a small place. I do know I won’t go into an apartment in a complex. Here in SB, as in many other small beach areas, there are one-bedroom apartments over garages behind the main house. This would suit me fine. Or, if Betsy does decide to stick around and wants to share a place, I can do that.

Of course, for years I’ve talked about living somewhere other than the U.S., but my short stay in South Africa brought home the fact that moving to a foreign country as a single person is not an easy feat. Add the fact I am a woman and “mature!” makes it more difficult. It is a dream I have not given up on and who knows what the future holds for me. I just know that at this point in my life, I need to be here.

Of course, all this hinges on ecology coming through and I am ever-hopeful.

It also means I will not go back to South Africa to stay. The main reason being the boys and their proximity.

But a huge factor in my decsion is the fact that I can’t do the traveling I want to do there, due to the lack of safety in the country. I am too independent to live there and it is not a place for a single woman, regardless of age. If there was a companion or partner in the picture who was willing to travel and explore, I would think harder about being there. But I have to face the fact that on my own, those options are non-existent.

I will miss seeing that side of the family and my friends there. And I know how important  friends, especially girl friends are! And most of mine are in Washington, where I know I will never live again! If I am based in SB, I can visit there fairly inexpensively and the girls can visit me – which I know wouldn’t happen in South Africa.

So whether ecology comes through or not, somehow I will find the ways and means to stay here. On 23rd, two days before Betsy returns, I head up to Port Townsend where Susan has a place for me, as does Mardelle. Teresa has a small truck I can use for transportation so hopefully the weather will cooperate while I am there! But it’s Washington so….

And I will see my kitties!

Today, Ryan and I are going to have a BBQ with Cody and family for Mothers’ Day and am really looking forward to that. Such a blessing to be this close.

First, a Ryan update. He is recovering well from surgery. That part has been close to miraculous! He has seen his doctors and they are pleased with his progress but his sciatica kicked in big time. He has been pretty much bed-ridden since coming home from the hospital. He’s had all kinds of painkillers etc but I think the only thing that is going to help is time – and patience! And that is not something he has inherited from me. I hope that tomorrow will find him back at work!

Daddy's goggles and boots = superman

Once Ryan was settled at home, I went up to Apple Valley in the high desert to see Cody, Mel and the little boys. They have grown so much in the three months since I saw them! Both as cute as can be and extremely active. Meaning you have to be young to be a parent and have the boundless energy to keep up with the kids!

The area is all desert, the yards decorated mostly with multicolored gravel and desert plants. With limited water, there are very few grass patches. But we went for a drive around Spring Valley Lake which is a man-made lake surrounded by typically southern California type suburban homes. It has a clubhouse, pool, tennis courts, a beach and boats and marinas. A real surprise way out there. And the bonus is, it is extremely inexpensive to rent out there. A 4 bedroom, 3 bath house is just on $1000 a month! It would take some getting used to, living in that barren sort of environment, but it would be fun to be close to the little boys and a good place for them to visit with water and beach close at hand.

Now I am staying at Betsy’s while she is away for three weeks. Getting here was a challenge and a story in itself!

To go up to Apple Valley, I rented a car which needed to be returned in Burbank, close to Ryan’s house. Betsy’s place is in Seal Beach, a 1.5 hour (no traffic) drive. It turned out that the day I was to return the car, there was no way for me to get from the rent-a-car place to Seal Beach. Ryan not driving, Les working and Betsy already left!

So I resorted to public transportation – and THAT was an experience! A 1.5 hour trip took almost 5 hours to complete.

First of all I had to figure out the schedules. And being inter-county, coordinate two disparate bus systems. I finally – I thought – figured out. The start was right near the rent-a-car drop off so I thought I had it made! What I hadn’t factored in was you pretty much need to know the area before you try to work out where the bus stops are. So first off, I ended up at a stop going the wrong direction! I sort of got a funny feeling that I was turned around so asked someone also waiting, and sure enough, I needed to be across the intersection on the other side of the street to get the right bus!

Fortunately, I hadn’t missed the one I needed and climbed aboard. Being a “senior,” this bus only cost me .25. There weren’t a lot of people on board this leg. The announcements of which stop coming up, then approaching and then arriving became rather annoying, but at least I wasn’t going to miss my stop. At one stop, a young man in a wheelchair, with his little dog boarded and he was so stoned… he reeked of pot and he was certainly a happy chappy!

That first leg ended at the iconic Hollywood and Vine intersection. The bus trip planner said to get the Red Line to my next departure point. OK, where is the Red Line station? Not realizing that it was the subway, I was totally at a loss until I asked a little old lady where it was, and she told me in very broken, Russian-accented English that it was across the street – the Subway!

Here I was in the middle of Los Angeles, earthquake central, getting ready to go on the underground! Oh well, as they say “In for a penny, In for a pound!” Besides, if I didn’t take the leg I had mapped out, I had absolutely no clue how to get to the third leg of the trip! So I descended into the bowels of the Metro. First I had to figure out the payment system which of course didn’t want to take my quarter! When I finally managed to shove the coin in the slot, head through the gates and get to the right platform, the damn train was heading away into the tunnel.

Metro station at Hollywood and Vine

The station was really attractively tiled and the ceiling covered with old film reels. It was very clean, although at this station I didn’t see any Metro personnel to ask questions.

By this time I was getting a little frazzled, with no idea which direction I was supposed to go. So again, I asked and a very helpful young man directed me to the right platform and showed me where the map of the system was. So then it was about a 10 minute wait for the next train, which whisked me off to the Blue Line station which was in the same terminal at my next stop. Fortunately, this time there was an official Metro person to direct me to the right platform.

This train, from downtown to Long Beach was packed! Standing room only. Lucky for me I managed to snag a seat, but I did see a young Hispanic man get up and offer his seat to an older lady, so chivalry is not totally dead! At one stop, an old Mexican guy got on, selling chocolate bars – 2 for $1 – I wondered how old they were and then he was off the next stop before he could be thrown off! Gotta make a buck, somehow!

Ninety-nine percent of the passengers had much darker complexions than me! The shades ranged from Nigerian blue-black to cafe au lait and everything in between. I felt like I was back in South Africa, a definite minority! Ryan had expressed concern about me taking this particular train as it goes through some very rough areas of the city;  Watts, South Central and other not so salubrious areas! Graffiti decorated the walls lining the tracks and the houses looked very rundown and tatty. But I had no problems and felt quite at ease with the whole situation. The train made at least 14 stops before we got to Long Beach, where again I ran into the issue of which way do I go! Asked again and once again, was going to head in the wrong direction!

Each of the first three legs cost me a quarter, all three being in Los Angeles County. The fourth leg was a local city bus which cost me sixty cents. The further south I went, the more the bus cost! The last leg, from Long Beach to Seal Beach, one of the shortest legs, cost $1.25 – and that was the senior fare! No wonder fewer people take public transportation down here.

But during the two train legs – not once was I asked for my ticket so wonder how many of the other passengers were actually stowaways!

For me, this trip was an experience, an adventure. Fun to do – once. But for the majority of riders, this is their only means of transportation and I can only imagine the frustration of having to deal with it every day. Waiting, changing trains/buses/tubes and dealing with the masses. We are very fortunate having our own wheels to come and go as we please.

I was very happy to get off the last bus at almost 7pm, walk the last couple of blocks and pop a bottle of wine. Sleep came easily and early.

After 10 nerve-wracking days, Ryan is home and doing amazingly well! Isn’t youth marvelous?

The final results of the tests showed that the tumor was indeed malignant but the surgeons got it all, with clean margins. They labeled it a low grade gastrointestinal stromal tumor, basically meaning that it was very slow growing and had not spread. So that was the good news. And it is treated with targeted medications that work only on the specific cells in the gut. So no chemo or anything like that. He will take the medications for about a year and apparently, from what they docs say, he should be fine but will need to be checked every year.

It was a very close call and thank goodness he was where he was when it happened. Fifteen minutes later he could have been on the freeway and then that could have been totally catastrophic.

His recovery is amazing. Once they took the tube that went through his nose down to the stomach to keep it drained was removed on Tuesday (I think, lost track of days) and he was able to eat or at least have liquids, the turnaround was very fast. With no food for all those days, he lost 18 pounds! The initial offerings were meager but appreciated and now he is on a “soft” diet which is pretty much everything except raw, hard fruit and veges, nuts and whole grains. After a couple of weeks, he will be back to normal.

I brought him home yesterday to his house in Encino, much to Les and his roommates joy – and Rascal was overjoyed to see him, too. The most difficult part of his recovery I think, is making sure he doesn’t overdo things and rests when he needs to. So I hope that going back to work on Monday isn’t going to be too tiring for him.

Today I hooked up my Kangen water machine as I want him to have the best nourishment and care he can possibly get. Of course, the tap I wanted to use was an oddball size, so spent the morning driving around to find an adapter. Now its working and I am happy to have my water back.

Tomorrow I was going up to the desert to see Cody and family, but Ryan asked me to stay for and extra day as Les is going to work and he wants me to stay around to help him if necessary which of course I am happy to do.

Next week, I will make plans for the next phase of my life. Right now, I am just so grateful I was able to be here for this horrendous event. I don’t think I would have survived staying in South Africa.

Ryan is on the mend but it is going to be a long haul. But he is young and otherwise healthy and determined. I know he is improving because he is getting impatient! I never thought I would see that as a positive indication!

He was sleeping when I got there in the early this afternoon. I had woken at 3:30 this morning, got up for a while, had coffee (decaf I found out later – thanks, Betsy) went back to bed around 6 and slept til 9:30. I sat in the chair and watched him, all hooked up to drips and machines that monitor everything. It was heartbreaking, this my oldest little boy who was born in that hospital, just off the critical list with a condition that hit like a sledgehammer, with no warning.

The tumor is called an gastrointestinal stromal tumor. The initial biopsy results are good; non-malignant but all the results are not in yet, so we must wait.

While I was there, the doctor came in and said he is making a fast recovery and they should be able to remove the stomach tube tomorrow. This is what Ryan is complaining about. It goes through his nose into his stomach to keep it drained and it is very uncomfortable. He hasn’t had anything to eat or drink since he had surgery on Wednesday and he knows that once he starts to get some real food into his system, he will recover faster. But he has to wait til tomorrow to reach that milestone.

He is up and walking too. We walked around the nursing station twice, avoiding others walking slower! This is essential as it keeps his circulation going and helps expel the fluids from his stomach. I pushed the IV stand along with him, I never ever envisioned this. But I have to keep reminding myself that he is so lucky to have had this happen where he was. If it had happened 15 minutes later, he could have been on the freeway with horrendous consequences. As it was, he was with Randy and close to Hoag Hospital, which is one of the best in the U.S. Ryan said today, not acknowledging the freeway implications, but that if it had happened later, he would have been taken to some god-forsaken hospital in some seedy part of Los Angeles! And what might the results have been? We don’t think about that.

So I am staying with Betsy at the “Loveshack” tonight and June (who is Chelsea my old cat’s foster mum) has offered me a place while Ryan is down here, bless her! Then when he is released, will go up to Encino. Then Les can go back to work.

And after that…who knows?

I just know that it was essential that I be here and even though it might have seemed a precipitous move on my part given my financial situation, it is the only move that made – and still makes – any sense to me.

Tonight I leave South Africa to go back to California, a major change in plans and not under the best circumstances.

Ryan just had major emergency surgery and had a large tumor removed from the lower intestine. He lost a lot of blood but is in stable condition at Hoag, the best hospital around and incidentally, where he was born.

It has been just too stressful to be this far away from my family, but thank goodness for technology as I was on Skype and imessage a whole lot yesterday and was able to stay in contact. But it is not the same thing at all as being there.

So I made the decision to go back as soon as I could and got a flight on Emirates that leaves this evening and gets in on Friday U.S. time. So I will pack up and be gone. Very sad to leave here like this but sometimes things happen and it seems the Universe is pushing me that way, so I am not going to fight it.

Once I get there, I will stay either at Ryan’s or with Cody and Mel. Right now I am just concentrating on getting there and seeing everyone, especially Ryan. Les has a week off work so will be there, but when Ryan comes home, I will be around to help him out. The doctors say he will be able to go back to work in a couple of weeks. He just started a new job, but they have someone filling in for him so he hasn’t lost the job, which I am sure has set his mind at ease.

So off I go to pack and go into zone neutral for 30+ hours until I land.

How many times do you see this in your car?

Today the odometer turned over to 300,000km or 187,500 miles. Not bad for a 1991 VW! I didn’t have any champagne or would have poured it over the bonnet! But I did take the slow way, back roads to Howick from Ashburton, so that as the dial hit the big number, I could pull over without getting side swiped by a big rig, or “heavy,” as they are known here. So just outside Howick, I pulled onto the grassy verge and immortalized it.

It was good to go back to Ashburton for a few hours. The roofers were here at the B&B and were hellofa noisy! So grabbed my water bottle for a Kangen water refill, and headed down the hill. Mick was home and we had lunch together on the veranda.

Absolutely spectacular weather, it’s getting a little chilly now but the sun is gorgeous.

Just before I left, when I went out to get my iPad on the veranda, I saw that Gingi had caught something, and wouldn’t you know, it was a snake. I yelled for Mick who quickly picked it up with his bare hands! It was a Philothamnus semivariegatus – Spotted Bush Snake, a beautiful, brilliant emerald green with golden reddish brown eyes. It was very small and very slippery! Needless to say, I let Mick rescue him and put him out of harms way in the orange tree! As pretty as it was, I don’t do snakes!

Some of the great home made stuff at the Karkloof Market

Karkloof Farmers Market this morning. After all, why miss one when it is so close, just about a mile away from Stocklands, the B&B where I am staying for a couple of weeks.

This area is the retirement community centre of this country, and I was not alone with my silver hair! Although there were a lot of younger people there too. It is held inside a big metal barn, with some additional stands outside. Lots and lots of home industry type products, and several tart stands. I knew I was onto something in Washington when I started making them. They all looked really good! Several cheese makers, bakers, jam makers and a wide selection of actual food stands, with different breakfast foods; bagels, French toast, omelettes. All very tempting. I did buy some dry cured bacon for Mick as he complains about how much water is in the store-bought bacon and how it doesn’t fry nicely.

The Karkloof Market is in a large barn

Manning that stand was a fellow I thought I recognized, and sure enough, it was Rob who is part of the Conservancy that Mick heads up. He was out of context, but he said, after I asked him about the bacon, “And where is Mike this morning?” and it clicked who he was. Then I saw a face from the past! Tim Lea was manning the Rita Lea, his wife’s stand. She has Rita Lea’s Country Kitchen and makes really good pies – not fruit pies, but different meat pies that she sells frozen, ready to bake. Tim is Rosemary’s brother-in-law. That’s a story with a twist, but not for the blog.

Locally made cheese at the market

The place was jammed! Easter long weekend and gorgeous weather has everyone and his brother out. And lots of visitors to the retirement communities! Maybe that’s where all the young people come into the picture, visiting grandma! And incidentally, a source of a lot of “bed nights” at the B&B.

I don’t think I would do well in the hospitality business. Don’t have the patience for the complainers out there. They really have nothing to whine about here; it is four star and very nice. But some people just have to find something wrong with everything. This one couple arrived yesterday evening, and I could tell immediately from the woman’s body language that she wouldn’t be happy with anything. Fortunately, I don’t have to deal with the guests much, just check them in when Adele is not here. So I am nice to them, but glad I have minimal interaction with them! I like to choose who I associate with – too picky I suppose.

The internet here is really, really bad at the moment. It’s satellite and for some unknown (though I have a suspicion) reason I can barely connect today. It’s like working on a dial up!Hopefully, once the land lines are replaced with fiber optic cables (all the copper phone lines were stolen in November), the connectivity will be better. Apparently they are in the process of burying the new cables. Makes it a bit difficult to do any research. I am expecting a call from the service provider – customer service here is marginal – and maybe they can fix the problem.

Yesterday morning, I looked out my window and saw this marvelous creature racing across the grass! You can see by the size of the blades of grass, how big he is! And they say, “Things are bigger in Texas!”  This escargot, at about 8 inches long, would make dinner for a group of six.

For the next two weeks, I am house sitting (or bed sitting) Stocklands Farm B&B for Evie. She and Roland are taking a trip to the western part of the country, a favorite of theirs, and tracing the path of Archbell, who is the subject of the book she is in the process of writing. The B&B is in Howick, about half an hour from Ashburton, and a completely different climate. Cooler, more temperate, but very beautiful. I really don’t have to do much, basically just be here from about 4 pm on, as the help leave then.

So I have the days to myself, and am set up in Evie’s office so very comfortable.

Looks like ecology is getting back on track, so I have a lot of work ahead of me. I feel so much better, having a focus now, instead of being in limbo. When the full funding comes through and I know what direction the company is going, then I will make decisions about where I am going!